Dinner tonight, and girls

Although I do talk a lot about food, and think a lot about it, it's in fits and starts. Sometimes it's really the very last thing in the world that I want to do. somehow i pulled this out of my memory. I made some baked tofu the other day, (which neither kid wanted to eat) and had carrots and soba noodles, (i'd never cooked with them before) and black sesame seeds, so that has to be worth something right? oh, and peanut butter that G doesn't like. Voila, this recipe! http://www.doorsixteen.com/2012/06/10/soba-noodles-and-veggies-with-spicy-peanut-sauce/ Our house always feels colder and lonelier when G isn't home, and food is the main way we combat that. specifically oven cooked things like muffins or whatever. but I definitely don't want to cook that much when he isn't around-I'd rather piece together foods leftover from other big motivation days when I cooked like a crazy person. Anyway, R peeled the ginger, m washed and peeled the carrots, and this went together so much faster than I could have predicted, once I committed to doing it. The people across the street and alley from us decorated their whole back yard (it's a rental, but I have met them) in light strings, and brought in tables and had themselves a wedding reception! It made me so happy to see, right here on our block! The boys are safe in bed, and we had a talk about the girl who died this week in Jeffco. What a truly tragic story, that is unexplainable--to anyone--and impossible to understand. My heart goes out to that family,and the the family in Pakistan for her daughter too. To be shot in the head for wanting an education, or killed for walking to school? what kind of hell is this world we call home, that I sometimes call heaven. As Ani says, life is sacred, it is also profane. -s

the beginning and the always

Well, the always is in the sink. It's more dishes, and as soon as those somehow get plowed through, there are more. And you know our house, we only eat at the table, and at the counter (pretty much, except that we have a sick person tray for bringing food all the way 8 feet to the couch...) and it's in the washer, or near it. and this is the official beginning of me recording the process anyway, of our house getting remodeled and though it started in February, shortly after my rant, when I called our long-suffering architect ...AGAIN... but also called the money people and we pretty much got our finances where we wanted them, with a few little exceptions, and then. We designed, through a very civilized and inspired process, more space for our family here on the corner. No, still no basement. no, no extra room (three bedrooms altogether). no, we aren't going out the back. No, we're not going straight up all the way around. we have a lovely, dignified, fitting design for our house with a second floor. There will be two bathrooms up there, and the kitchen is going unchanged. (but i get a new oven fan) then, once we had the design, and we had the yes from the money people, and we finally chose the contractor, then he brought all the drawings down to the city, and now we are waiting. But not worrying, now we have other things to do. Like grovel, and beg people to give us a short term lease, with a dog. I haven't had such a strange feeling as I did, the first time I realized that we were the least likely folks to get rentals! all this time I've been romanticizing the renting process.... no responsibility, no major money commitment, the ability to leave when you want! and none of the other things, like, you are at the mercy of people charging LOTS of money for hovels, and refusing you outright as a contender because of your most fabulous dog. Do not get me started on my fixation with bedbugs. i took pictures of the rental we are thinking of, and drove around the block. Rowan spied another (much nicer looking) place with a for Rent sign out front! (yes, he reads!) and so I took a pic of that too. Hopefully we can figure out how we'll do all this money thing. ah, details. ISO: a place that is smaller than ours and with a big garage so we don't have to pay for a storage place too. near our actual house. big yard, and tolerance for shedding. good counter for cooking. please no electric stove. off to liberate the pesto from the basil leaves the boys harvested. -s

How does she do it?

You know my favorite blogger, right? She's got that tender, loving fabulous food blog that also touches on things family and important. Well, I don't know how she does that, reliably at that. There are things I am reliable at. I reliably get my kids food. I reliably show up for work, except in the case of sick kids or snowstorms shutting down school. I reliably avoid cleaning most things, especially the bathroom, even at the risk of alienating my friends who prefer bathrooms that aren't totally disgusting. And here, the third time in a row, in February, I am now desperate for more room in our house. two years ago, in February, and Two years before that, in february, I called the architect who we want to design our dream raleigh house. And it is taking all of my strength to not call him again, this february until we can actually HIRE him!!! I am dreaming of a sick room. Where I put my family members (who I love very much) but who are sick, and need to be somewhere else but in our one and only room, on our one and only couch....which is also in our kitchen... I am dreaming of a work space for my dh, who was hopping on a conference call sitting on our bed. because there are no surfaces devoid of crap for him to set his laptop on. (and no doors to close to shut out misc. noise.) I am dreaming of a space large enough to lay a yoga mat down, where our arms don't hit furniture in sun salute. I am dreaming of a place to demand my international friends come and stay in... at our house for free! who cares about bedroom space!!! although that's exactly what we're planning. places with doors, and quiet floors, and room for legos and bookshelves. And a place to hang the map of colorado that is bigger than any of our walls. ah, the february rant. the one where its cold, snowy and our house in all its glory is more than halved by the weather. you never hear me talking about space in August. Because we have it! and a kitchen garden! and play room galore! and light til 8 or 9! Here's what I see about small houses. They work perfectly for those who don't have: a social life, extended family they want near them friends who live far away OR they work perfectly for those folks whose close family and friends... HAVE BIG HOUSES! and i am beginning to see that the car issue is quite similar. if you have a big house, you may only use a portion of your house most of the time, but then... when it's needed, it expands to give a quiet place for visiting grandparents... and if you have a big car, when your friend needs you pick up their two kids too, YOU ARE ABLE because there is extra room in your car! There you have it, rant of the day, when I am feeling smothered by sick kids and traveling spouse, and Bingo. and yet another round of head lice warnings from school. And even. in the midst of all this. I realize with great clarity how unbelievably lucky we are. to be safe, warm and provided for. to be loved and to be loving. And how grateful I am for this. which makes me think... we certainly don't need a second floor or more seats in our car! We already have everything we need! and now you see how the go-round goes round.

obsession in a glass jar

So I know I haven't posted since May, and I keep thinking that I may be able one day to post here more, I think it's a combination of all of my insecurities in one place. I have a decent amount of embarassment about the types of things I write about after a few years, and I also have a good amount of paranoia that I will be "found" either out there in ye olde internet search world--and that my words will be used against me. Most likely in a job situation. I have tried to avoid conversation about things work-related and keep myself quite neutral on FB, but you know... you never know. YET. My favorite blog is by this woman who writes her life, posts it and shares it with me. I cry reading her blog, and nod knowingly as if we are actually having a conversation when she tells me about car snacks. I share her love of food. I am so grateful that she throws her beautiful self out there to the digital unknown, and that I found her. So what does that have to do with the fact that I haven't posted in five months? well, not much. except that I got a new computer, and while I cannot promise a single picture, b/c I haven't figured that particular thing out yet, I can actually be logged into two accounts and don't need to wait an average of fifteen minutes for a page to load and then hold my breath between keystrokes so as to not overwhelm my bloated, non-functioning-always needing some update-monster of a computer. Now when I turn on my laptop, it magically turns ON! The thing that I am mostly doing is food. I am trying to get as much of the fresh food into our bodies and all the rest of it into a form that we can eat all winter, when there aren't vegetables piled on every surface as they are all summer long. Currently roasting a pan of tomatoes and getting ready to make some applesauce, pesto and potato soup. lots of potatoes to get through, and yet when they are gone, I feel inexplicably lonely. A good potato is the most understated thing, and yet, the most tasty. off to try and fit in one recipe between now and picking up my big first grader. His little brother has a terrible cough and has been home for three days. I have been mostly arms reach from him, all day and night.

Almost a year ago

Here is a picture from June 4, 2010. It's the best we've got of us, though I think the second one really says it all. "We made it, and I am very tired." :) I love the work I'm doing, and I am actually a librarian. It's such an amazingly good job. I don't know if I knew that it could really happen a year ago. It's nice that I can do a very simple a then b sort of progression, when that's not what ACTUALLY happened, but is what's important. A toast to continuation!

Continuation then Field Day

Our son has left Kindergarten, and is moving on to first grade. It feels like he was just born! Luckily we have the summer to get used to this thought, and to hold him tight (when he lets us).
Milo luckily has two more years in his classroom, but I'm sure I'll be just as shocked when HE's the one with the cute white cap on.
The kids sang, and then their teachers shook their hands and moved the little tassel over to the other side. It was just like a year ago when I graduated!! Tom and Pat took all the pics, and promptly sent me a cd of them. I completely forgot, and have posted or printed not a single one!
The last day of school was field day, and the best part was the last part: tug of war with the teachers! it was very very cute, and the kids won! We are so thankful to this school for how easy it has been to love the teachers and the beautiful way they are helping our boys unfold as people. We are tremendously blessed.

all that unsaid stuff

Yes, I know, we fell off the blogging wagon for a good many months, and although I wrote tomes during that time, none of it is fit for the public sphere. Suffice it to say that my initial foray into the workforce was exceedingly difficult for a multitude of reasons, and all miscellaneous activities besides surviving fell off the map.
We are all on the mend, and not much worse for the wear from such a stressful run. I found different work that suits me much better, and ironically, tomorrow, Rowan will get an actual, gaudy soccer trophy. And since I've covered that topic already, and my feelings haven't changed, the only good thing to do is probably give the garden report.
HENS: 3 in good health and still laying (one having died)
Main garden bed: planted with two rotations of lettuce, some spinach, kale, and broccoli, peas and four lovely tomatoes from master gardener Frankie. Corn, beans and other things on the way.
Two new mini beds, housing a boys garden with "CARROTS!" and lots of calendula, some peas, who knows what else is in there. oh radishes.
and the other housing two zucchini plants which I hope will fill my need for many zucchini pancakes and bisque and fried zucchini, and sautes with pesto.

Rich in the morning, rich in the evening

As we drove back from R's last soccer game today, we were waiting at a light near our house. I got the wits scared out of me as a woman with a child about 8 years old came right to my window. She asked me for money to buy eggs and milk and bread -- i could buy them -- she just didn't have any food. She was standing right in the middle of the street holding this young girl's hand, in the rain. While I tried to quiet my heart, the light turned green, and I told her to get to the sidewalk, it wasn't safe for her to be in the street. She apologized, and went to the curb. I drove home. I watched her watch me drive away. I walked in the back door, and there were my three large bags full of bread, english muffins and buns for the soccer party tomorrow, and that I buy every few weeks and throw in the freezer from the Oroweat outlet. I buy the whole wheat bread there, though I know it's not the best- it's the best they make. (ironically called Best !!)
I took two loaves, some english muffins, two oranges, and and looked around our house. We didn't have very much of any quantity to give her, but for once I had cash in my wallet. I left the boys with George, got back in the car and drove back to the intersection. Damned if the two of them weren't sitting right where I told them to go, and were waiting for me.
I got out of the car, and the girl said she knew I was coming back, while the mom said, "see, there ARE good people in the world!" I gave her the bag of bread, and the 13 dollars I had, to buy milk and eggs. I said that I hoped she would find other ways to support herself, and she said she had applied for all kinds of assistance, but was waiting -- and had nothing to eat.
I drove away in my warm car, and hoped it helped at least a little. We are overflowing with so much here on the corner, I am constantly grateful for the abundance in our lives.
Even after visiting our friends who have a very. big. house. with all sorts of wonderful things in it, I can still feel that we are so fortunate to be exactly where we are. In our sturdy walls, with our little family safely inside and lots of food to fill our bellies.

Trophies, part two

So, you ask, what did you do about the trophies? Answer: Nothing.
At least outwardly.
I hoped maybe we would have something legitimate come up, and we would miss the event. I hoped that somehow the parents would drop the ball... I told G basically what I wrote here and he told me that I was effing crazy, and that I should just lock up the kids if I want to avoid this sort of thing. He actually looked a little crazy telling me that I was so crazy!
So I did exactly nothing (except keep my mouth shut, which then again... is something HUGE). The season carried on, the boys did quite well playing soccer together. They had a great coach, who is fun and even tempered, and able to let them do their learning and gave them great support. Most of the families came to every game! This surprised me, apparently everyone else was much more okay with this thing every friday at 5 and half the day Sat.

My parents came to some games, G was into it, I made it to none of the early games, and all of the later ones, and the boys were just adorable. They were really invested in playing, and trying out how it feels to have the upper or lower hand. they were much more evenly matched this year, and there were some games where they weren't sure if they won or lost.

I thought more about this too. (side note) why exactly don't we keep score? I think it's so that the focus doesn't become goals, but come on. EVERY young kid you know wants to know whether they are winning and losing. So I think we lost a lot of opportunities to talk about how it feels when you are the one losing, and to model that behavior with that context. There was definitely some of that, but maybe next year that will happen. I don't know when they start keeping score.

The parents in charge of the "trophy" went to the store with their son, and he picked out a star shaped medallion (about an inch and a half)with a picture of soccer balls in the middle. the ribbon also had soccer balls. so it was a little star shaped neck thing. and it was just totally fine by me. All the boys got to have one at the pizza party after the last game, (yes, i even paid the three dollars) and now R wears it sometimes and thinks about his team. Mostly, I think he likes swinging it around his neck.
Two talented dads teamed up and took pictures of the boys kicking the ball at the games, (action shots) and then made them into little player cards, so now the boys have pics of all their friends.
When they got their necklaces, each boy was told something they did well, and then we gave the coach a gift card to REI.

All the parents and siblings came, it was very social and chaotic and it was a very nice time.


The moral of my story to myself is, to shut the ef up, and watch first. If I had made a protest, it would have made the whole thing so much worse. Thank goodness I have you to suffer through my tortured rant.

Would I do medals my own self? I will answer this the way I answer about food, because now I'm getting better about that too. It matters less what we are eating, if we are gathered together with friends or family. The benefit far outweighs the deconstruction of bonds that tie us together when we throw up walls or refuse outright. If I have my choice, well, then I will do what I can to also hold true to my commitment to food that has been raised consciously, and is connected to me in a meaningful way. And that makes a get-together even more enjoyable.

I am guessing there will be many more of these events. R loves playing, and its fun for him to be physical and have a great guide in his coach. He has been surrounded by me, and many females, and looks as though that may continue at his school, so for him to get to be with his coach, and his dad-that's really important.

Next topic? violence at schools of course. My Knight-loving, shield-brandishing boy, in the montessori environment.
This will wait for another day, when I get fired up enough and pull out all of my research about boys and unload here so I can stay quiet at school. Hey. this could really work out, I may save myself and our family a lot of grief!

Maybe I'm finally understanding that teaching "do nothing", isn't that buddhist? or am i making it up?

Illustrated by

technical difficulties.
I can't get a picture from my phone to this screen. I have now loaded it three ways on my computer, and the web, and I can't find it.
sigh.
lame post for today then, huh.
time to check on the laundry

Plus Six!

Visual Aides

benefits of waiting

So, for some of my (five) dear readers, it will seem utterly sensible that I kept the placentas from both boys' births in the freezer. We were waiting to be able to plant them under a tree, hopefully on a new piece of land that we would own. Well, we had lots of hopes over the last years about some goals that we'd like to meet.
We really wanted to expand the house for a second floor, for more information, see various tortured writings earlier on, when it was still in the rotation. We really really wanted a place, some land, to call ours, and to plant a little yurt on. We had several grumpy new years, one particularly memorable after Rowan was born, when I was being my normal list-happy self and asked George what kind of goals he wanted to write on the list. He, in a foul manner i may add, said that he was writing NO LIST because the thing he wanted still hadn't changed!
Well, yes.
So, as you can see, there will be no list again for George, because we didn't get a magic pass to get land. BUT.
A few years ago, our beautiful, old crabapple that took up the back half of the yard got fireblight and died slowly. We denied it a long while, until one of the large limbs fell off while we were in the front yard. (thank goodness)
As my wonderful friend in CT said, maybe good, maybe bad. Well, it opened up the whole back of the yard when George put on his chainsaw pants and went to town, and then tortured his body by using a huge stumpgrinder to take apart the stump. (picture a large circular blade bouncing up and down on burled, hard old wood stump)
We sparred over what would go back there:
me, GARDEN BEDS! CHICKEN COOP!
george, NONONO, COMPOST BIN,PLAY GYM, ROOM FOR SOCCER and GRASS!
somehow, as often happens, we found the middle ground, got a new garden bed, a chicken coop, a compost bin, a new play structure (as the boys call it) room for soccer AND grass! yowza!
and then a couple of shade-less years went past, me demanding fruit trees! and eventually just asking for ANY TREES! A tree for mothers day! a tree for graduation! a tree for my birthday!
And as the year is now winding up, I turned another year older, and the placentas filled out their 5 and 3 year marks in our freezer (well noted on the package) George DUG HOLES!
And then and then, this very day he moved the car seats to the jeep, packed up the boys and came home with two beautiful trees. a pear, and some kind of purple leaf cherry. Neither make fruit for people, but both flower in the spring. !! We don't think we can fight the insane squirrels in the area, even if we actually shoot all the ones we can see. (we don't shoot them, though I wish I did sometimes)
The boys each assigned themselves a tree. Naturally Rowan took the bigger one, the pear, and Milo, the red-leafed cutie. I couldn't believe it was happening, but took the placentas out of their long home at the bottom of the freezer, and let them defrost. George dug and dug and prepared, and measured, and tamped, and dug and mixed soil and dug (in the hot sun). The boys watched from their perch on the play structure. I took lots of pictures. We let the sausages on teh grill cook too long, because now all of a sudden we have more than an hour less of sunshine, and set the root balls in the beautifully constructed holes over the top of their buried placentas, and voila! we have new family members here on the corner. They will keep us good company, and I will try my damndest to get them water so that they can thrive.
The benefit of waiting was that each boy helped cover his placenta (and yes, they know what they are) and then watched as this tree was set over top. it was like a little belly button in reverse! May these trees grow strong, and well, and old.
And our little boys too.

Even grandpas get them

The boys' grandfather goes to tournaments all over, and does trap shooting, and has really gotten into it lately. Last one was hosted in their hometown, so naturally he had to be there.
What did he get for competing? why. A TROPHY of course.

Likeable=agree, unlikeable=disagree?

So I just got the info on R's first soccer game. And I'm all in a tizzy, which I must work out before I have to actually talk to anyone. But a cursory search brought me this very post.

http://www.mommasaid.net/mommablog/2009/08/31/lets-stop-giving-trophies-just-for-showing-up/

I can't do the trophy thing. Why do I always have to be the one who sounds like the asshole? In Spring, r's first season, I felt so lucky to be on one of those teams where the kids go to the games (where they don't keep score) and then they finish going to those games and carry on to the next fun thing. And now, new coach, new plan, 6 dollars for a showing up trophy that represents many things that I don't agree with.
I have read too much Alfie Kohn. I have too much of an idea of intrinsic motivation, I am admittedly inept at any and all team sports, I am a crazy mother who wants trophies to make sense. I have a friend who wrote a damn thesis on motivation for her Masters in Education.
The real problem isn't my views. If you know me at all, you know that I generally wander from the main line, and I negotiate the world in a fairly healthy way. But the thing is, that I also just want to be friendly with pretty much most people I meet, and I also have a pretty deep need to be liked. Even by strangers, but moreso by people I know.
And I don't think I'm the only one who equates "agreeing" and being likeable and then of course "disagreeing" as the very unlikeable way to be.
So now, is there a likeable way of disagreeing? there must be, for someone with way more social finesse than I have. For now I will be quiet and think. I will try my damndest to feel it all out, and then see what happens. I've been working on this. And now, you can see, that you have not been spared my late-night writing--but have been thrown right in the damn middle of it.
Don't even get me started on the furniture in the living room so that I can deal with our new TV.
Even without late-night canning I am still awake at 11. Hrmph.

Up and running

Well, we did it. by some stretch of a miracle, both boys got into the school I was sure they needed to be at (despite pretty large odds) and I found a job that fits the best it possibly could into the space that school for the boys has made.

I spent many sleepless nights writing obsessively in my journal (you were spared) and many days obsessively searching library jobline (again) and then my other scattered moments trying to figure out how to reconcile a career with this job of raising our children.

I think that this task that all of us, but especially mothers are asked to do -- is to walk on a tightwire. Between getting swallowed up somewhere, or somehow managing to make a space that holds us true. I know that having children can swallow up some folks. and others it sort of maybe feels more like suffocation. I heard a small piece on NPR which was the recordings of kids moving into their new places to live for school starting... the older students moving to a new apartment, and then... the freshmen, with their moms. Saying goodbye, and trying to make sense of this new phase.
One of the moms said point blank that she needs her kids more than they need her, and another was so glad to be seeing this day of goodbye. It's the whole spectrum of how we do parenting, and how we have these relationships in our lives...
It was extra powerful for me, listening to those kids and moms--having just dropped the boys off at school, and made my way straight home... to do... something, everything, nothing!
How can I do all three simultaneously?
After finishing school, and having a crazy wild fabulous summer of all sorts of events and unusual happenings, I think the boys are big fans of knowing what the hell they will be doing when the wake up, and where they will be doing it. I for one am trying to figure out how to have my work, keep up with the Friday folders, volunteering, lunches, and time frames oh yeah, and feed us all. Even with G's help, it's a lot for us both. Last night, apple sauce. Canning at midnight is much harder with the 6am wakeup, that is for sure. I can say it is such satisfying work though, to be cooking something that will fill our bellies when there is no apple growing in this state for the next 9 months.
Soccer is gearing up again for R and G. that means... practice Friday night, game for R sat, game for G sun.
Doesn't that feel like a lot of soccer to you? I'm really of half a mind to not sign the kids up for anything, even really fun stuff, because it just means more running around. and then our eating together gets all crammed up, and we are more strung out. Luckily, this is only 10 weeks, and then I mean it--nothing else!

plus six

Garden upgrade

Last year, in addition to a chicken coop and dual part compost bin, George built a second raised bed for gardening. we planted it with five corn kernels, dry beans and a yellow pear tomato plant, along with a row of sunflowers.
The tomato plant went gonzo, and took over almost the entire bed, and three of the corn stalks grew. the beans were not particularly successful really, and in general, the sunflowers were the most prolific of the bed.
In the other bed, I didn't plant any squash, but some volunteers came up, and i was excited about them, and for the first year, I planted zinnias (and some marigolds) and the flowers were stunning. The silly squashes turned out to be gourds, and even after two plantings, no green beans came up. so our "food" garden was mostly inedible, with exception of the basil... which we didn't grow enough of-- our pesto store went away almost by christmas, and that is about six months short of what we need.

So this year, I'm going to try and get FOOD out of this garden. Not like we don't have tons rolling in from Monroe Farms (thank goodness) but it is nice to pull some salad greens from outside (I've heard) and I would like to learn how to grow some greens mostly.

the boys spend a lot of time harvesting worms for the chickens. can this negatively affect my soil? I hope not.

We're going to redo the timber around the big one now that it's literally falling apart, so i'm off to find some beetle kill wood. pictures to follow of the progress. so far, already peas, spinach, butterhead lettuce and some mesclun growing... even through our mid may snow.

see?

Already I'm more present here! :) and I'm recovering from school too, as the weeks go on.

An update: The boys got spaces in the school I wanted for them. I don't know exactly how, some miracle, some good chance- with Milo being younger and that being the opening class. I feel so glad to know and am now working on how we'll become a family with two kids in school all day. It has snuck up on me (and early b/c of Milo's program that is only offered 8-2:50) and I try to imagine us having so much less choice about what we do when we wake up. I don't say this lightly, and I know that many families don't have the luxury of what we've had these past years here. But today the boys were playing making an ocean on the window sill and I thought about how hard it is to make sure that they have time to decide what to do next.

this documentary came out last week here, and I think it may be talking about this same topic at a much larger level. http://www.racetonowhere.com/trailer I didn't get to see it yet.

we have a snow covered yard today, in mid may! And there are crazy things afoot. Today the comcast person comes to install cable to our new television. ! yes, we have spent our last ten or more years without television.
but cable + TV = less money than tickets to South Africa
and both George and I enjoy visual media, it's just not a very high priority.
We also have enjoyed avoiding so much commercialism and violence (which are in large amounts on tv and cable), for ourselves and our boys.
Yet. I'm reading this book called "Raising Financially Fit Kids" which talks about teaching our children how to be responsible with money, and that is through practice and experience in making decisions and living with the consequences.
These are the same things we do as parents in all areas of life, help our children find out in the gentlest ways possible that certain things aren't great ideas.
I feel like it's about time to model the kinds of behavior we think is healthy with the TV too. Choosing not to watch TV when there isn't one isn't a very active choice, but having it, and still opting to read, play outside, ride our bikes, work on our projects, use our computers for other things, and generally carry on instead of watching it seems to be a bit more active modeling.
We all have different tolerance levels for screen time, and different values for what it's for and I have no beef with television watching any more than I have a beef with vegetarianism (to use a terrible metaphor!). It's just what makes us interesting and different-to have different focus and intent with our lives and the way we raise our kids.

new tactic

I like almost everything that google does, except that for crazies like me who have more than one address, i cannot be in any programs for the one, if i have the other open.
This has caused a big problem with this blog, since it is in the OTHER account that doesnt have my email, calendar, and reader... and means that I barely ever get here!

so anywho. that's my story and anyway, We survived!

I passed comps, and my Place exam (for teacher licensure) and managed to almost miss signing up for graduation, except for a well timed reminder to "opt in" to the graduation ceremony on the very final day. That would have been something, huh? to do everything else, but not go into a specific page and press the "yes" button for actual attendance to the ceremony!

Today it's may 12 and we're preparing for snow (!) so i cut down almost all of my glorious irises and now they are looking like a decadent arrangement in the living room.

What to do about my favorite lilac bushes? I only got one or two blooms to stand next to and huff over and over, trying to bring that scent inside of me. Lilacs are so heavenly.