Trophies, part two

So, you ask, what did you do about the trophies? Answer: Nothing.
At least outwardly.
I hoped maybe we would have something legitimate come up, and we would miss the event. I hoped that somehow the parents would drop the ball... I told G basically what I wrote here and he told me that I was effing crazy, and that I should just lock up the kids if I want to avoid this sort of thing. He actually looked a little crazy telling me that I was so crazy!
So I did exactly nothing (except keep my mouth shut, which then again... is something HUGE). The season carried on, the boys did quite well playing soccer together. They had a great coach, who is fun and even tempered, and able to let them do their learning and gave them great support. Most of the families came to every game! This surprised me, apparently everyone else was much more okay with this thing every friday at 5 and half the day Sat.

My parents came to some games, G was into it, I made it to none of the early games, and all of the later ones, and the boys were just adorable. They were really invested in playing, and trying out how it feels to have the upper or lower hand. they were much more evenly matched this year, and there were some games where they weren't sure if they won or lost.

I thought more about this too. (side note) why exactly don't we keep score? I think it's so that the focus doesn't become goals, but come on. EVERY young kid you know wants to know whether they are winning and losing. So I think we lost a lot of opportunities to talk about how it feels when you are the one losing, and to model that behavior with that context. There was definitely some of that, but maybe next year that will happen. I don't know when they start keeping score.

The parents in charge of the "trophy" went to the store with their son, and he picked out a star shaped medallion (about an inch and a half)with a picture of soccer balls in the middle. the ribbon also had soccer balls. so it was a little star shaped neck thing. and it was just totally fine by me. All the boys got to have one at the pizza party after the last game, (yes, i even paid the three dollars) and now R wears it sometimes and thinks about his team. Mostly, I think he likes swinging it around his neck.
Two talented dads teamed up and took pictures of the boys kicking the ball at the games, (action shots) and then made them into little player cards, so now the boys have pics of all their friends.
When they got their necklaces, each boy was told something they did well, and then we gave the coach a gift card to REI.

All the parents and siblings came, it was very social and chaotic and it was a very nice time.


The moral of my story to myself is, to shut the ef up, and watch first. If I had made a protest, it would have made the whole thing so much worse. Thank goodness I have you to suffer through my tortured rant.

Would I do medals my own self? I will answer this the way I answer about food, because now I'm getting better about that too. It matters less what we are eating, if we are gathered together with friends or family. The benefit far outweighs the deconstruction of bonds that tie us together when we throw up walls or refuse outright. If I have my choice, well, then I will do what I can to also hold true to my commitment to food that has been raised consciously, and is connected to me in a meaningful way. And that makes a get-together even more enjoyable.

I am guessing there will be many more of these events. R loves playing, and its fun for him to be physical and have a great guide in his coach. He has been surrounded by me, and many females, and looks as though that may continue at his school, so for him to get to be with his coach, and his dad-that's really important.

Next topic? violence at schools of course. My Knight-loving, shield-brandishing boy, in the montessori environment.
This will wait for another day, when I get fired up enough and pull out all of my research about boys and unload here so I can stay quiet at school. Hey. this could really work out, I may save myself and our family a lot of grief!

Maybe I'm finally understanding that teaching "do nothing", isn't that buddhist? or am i making it up?