amending the holiday letter

Yesterday, Milo had his first oatmeal cereal! He was so funny, pulling everything into his mouth with such urgency! We also got a new car seat for Rowan so that Milo could have his old one, and Rowan was so excited about it, he completely dressed himself trying to get us to go somewhere in his new carseat (which was still in the living room.)

I went to bed thinking about the holiday letter, especially after finishing This Organic Life (Thank you so much Rach and Frankie) and realized that although I have made a great effort to eat more locally, we didn't do as great of a job in the first half of the year. I don't want to over-represent what we've done.

Last year, I tried Door-to Door Organics, being pregnant and frustrated with the availability of food at the local grocery store, but that didn't really make me feel too much better because here was this food being shipped from all over the world and then delivered to my door. Then i read BK's Animal Vegetable Miracle and had many epiphanies about how I look at food and what I consider when i buy food or choose recipes. We already belonged to a CSA, (Monroe Farms) but didn't do the winter share b/c I thought it was basically just potatoes.(it's not! we did it this year)
Anyway, what I should have said is that the first time I walked into Safeway (i think it was June) and asked what was grown in colorado, and they said... the green onions. i just walked around in a sort of wonder. All this food brought here in great quantity regardless of what is actually able to grow where we live. I get the clear impression, like Gussow (TOL) that most people don't care about how or where their food is grown, and maybe you don't either. But I didn't want to make it sound like here we were eating all from our backyard and whatnot, because we aren't. (yet!)

Maybe in a handful of years I'll have more things worked out for eating more locally (especially from Feb to May), but my biggest two goals for the garden this year are to get a functioning compost and plant some raspberry bushes. My next book I'm going to read is another by Pollan, Second Nature .

As you have already figured, both boys are napping at the same time! Milo is getting more regular in the pm, which gives me hope. Hope that Rowan doesn't give up his nap!!! That way I may actually have a few minutes to study (or write here!) during the day. School starts again next week, wish us luck and sleep!

New Years is upon us, and my list of resolutions calls for more canning, more raspberry picking and more strawberring picking.

Our Late Holiday Letter

Well, even with the computer in my house, (and no school) I still didn't get three minutes to write a holiday letter (not that it takes three, but i didn't even get that many!) so online I am even late. I really enjoyed getting all the fun pictures and the few lovely letters full of news from everyone, so I still am going to send out a picture with the site here, because I feel the need to reciprocate.

I got to meet my nephew! I'm an aunt! The thing about becoming an aunt, especially like I did (long distance), is that you don't have to do anything or change your life to become one! You just get the privelege of loving up another delicious baby. Gino is great. He's energetic and chatty and a solid boy. It was great fun swapping babies with Christie, and as usual she and Brian were awesome with Rowan, who thinks the world of them. I said, hopefully Gino likes me at least a little bit of how much Rowan likes you.

The grandparents were great too. I pulled some good cards with my own parents and DG's since they are so loving and responsive and caring and kind. couldn't have found a better bunch of them if I were trying.



so on to our holiday letter:

We have been incredibly blessed this year, with our little family growing and our bigger family maintaining their health and sanity. Rachael has a wonderful boyfriend who we all love, and is halfway through her program at Naropa for Art Therapy. They hope to be in Fort Collins together soon, and that she can finish out her practicum there. As I said, Brian and Christie have a wonderful baby boy and are fabulous parents pouring on the love for Gino. (and even sharing some with our boys)

Tom and Pat have been surviving multiple-leg delays on flights all over the damn country to visit us and rescue us with delicious food and serious grandparent love, and we are so thankful to them for their continued trips from NY. We're going out there in March to see the extended fam and introduce the babies. Tom made Rowan the best baby bed, and the boys some helecopters that are very cool. He also does countless projects G & I can't possibly get to and helps our chaotic house get just a little more organized every time he comes. Pat takes care of all the rest, baking and sewing and doing laundry and keeping the kitchen spotless. I hope they don't collapse of exhaustion every time they leave, but I do think they might.

My parents also support us in our endeavors as parents, and take care of the boys regularly. Thank goodness or I'd be checked in to some loony bin for certain by now. They were called into duty with frightening regularity this first quarter of school, and I'm looking for some paid help to not bring them to the point of collapse since they usually work (way too hard) all day and then come and wrangle a 2 and a half year old and an infant. Makes me tired just thinking about it!

I picked the perfect day to write this letter too, because I feel amazingly normal and fairly well-rested. We have submitted to Milo's will. He eats every two hours around the clock. I am not kidding or exaggerating, and if you want to hear him scream then you feed him less frequently. As for me, I sleep while feeding him and we are both happy. He spends some part of every night in the crib in Rowan's room, and amazingly, DR doesn't even wake up when he pages for the next feeding.

Rowan now responds to all comments, suggestions, threats or questions with WHY!!! not even necessarily a question, more of a statement. yeesh. he must be two or something. We think he's amazing and fascinating and sometimes really annoying. Like when he tells you 75 times that he's hungry. In a row. The power of repetition is really underestimated as a crazy-making tool. of course, all kids know this i suppose. He goes to preschool on friday mornings and really likes doing that. Two girls from our playgroup are in his class, so he has a neat community that is overlapping.

I find parenting Milo more peaceful and he is also (when not crying) an amiable and lovely baby. He adores DR and watches him always. Even when he is being laid on top of, his mood is patient and curious, while we freak out on DR for sitting on him, he just coos or watches his hands, totally unaffected.

George's play interests have shifted for the time being to more local activities, especially in winter he climbs indoors and is on an indoor soccer league. This summer saw him playingin an outdoor league on a full size field in the hottest part of the day usually on Sundays, so I think he'll be happy to be inside for a little bit. My school has definitely added more stress to the mix at home (in addition to having two kids) and he is silly busy at work, so he suffers from continual overload. He is however an amazing daddy and now firmly first in DR's book.

If you read farther down, you'll find that we have put our plans for renovation on serious hold and I am quite fine with that. Especially now that I see hope in both boys being fine in a room sleeping together, it's really just not as important as continuing on our path to more financial freedom. We bought a car this year too, so I am not stressed out about driving any more (all hail the SUBARU AWD!!!) and so that's more debt to knock off. G's Jeep is hanging in there, but there are plenty of moments when we wonder how long we can hold out on a car for him too. pleaseoplease, just one more year!!!

In food news, we have succeeded in avoiding buying almost any produce in a store for most of the year, eating locally and in season even when G hates it. After reading BK's Animal, Vegetable, Miracle and now (for xmas from Rach and Frankie-- This Organic Life) I refuse to buy bananas and most other things that are a. out of season, or b. never able to grow here.* On the plus side, I started Pizza night on Fridays and that is a big hit. Rowan loves it and makes his own pizzas.

We crammed in some great trips at the beginning of the year before I was really too preggo to do anything, and are looking forward to getting back into travel mode, especially if it's to our very own yurt on our very own land. hope for us that we find that place.

In all, you can see, that we feel incredibly blessed, and do not take lightly all the gifts that we are given. With all the busyness that we have, our friends are not as close as either of us would like, and I hope with this coming year, (in spite of what is on the daily planner) to regain closer connections or build some new ones. We know many babies are on the way, and some of our loved ones are ill and we send our love deep and wide to help welcome the new and comfort the ailing.

I cannot end this letter without at least acknowledging the fact that this year will be a very influential and important voting year. Mother Jones did a fantastic piece on all of the candidates and their actual stance and track records on all the main issues of the day, you may want to check it out. I don't see many places that aren't owned by one or two guys offering news and you may find that the mainstream media might present a particular point of view that may not be in the best interest of people not like the owners of the for-profit news companies. Okay, I had to say it.

George got me my first bumper sticker for our car. It says:
Power to the Peaceful
please let it be so in November.
love from us here on the corner,

Sarah George Rowan (DR-Darling Rowan) and Milo (DM- Darling Milo)
(Cabot and Eliza too)

*One weakness is a box of clementines in December. i know they aren't different from bananas being flown in from wherever. I just can't resist them and they take me to my little flat in Seville where I bought (and ate) them by the kilo.

laundry

I am back to my life after a week of me regaining some sanity! I have made contact with the outside world. After getting to go to see David Gray last Friday, then the Teahouse on Saturday, the photo shoot on Sunday and then out for a brief drink of WED night (after G was in OR for two days)
We hosted a fun and people-filled house (of our playgroup moms, dads and of course kids for a present exchange and pizza) and then got up (went shopping for a dress- not terribly traumatic now that the main fashion is maternity-style to match my poor postpartum body) and went to an all afternoon/night event with G's company.
We missed out on my friend's party, because we didn't leave the company one until almost 11 pm. :( The added milk rotation is funny, since we were gone quite a long time and Nana and Pops were in charge of the kiddos, I come home, hook myself up to the milk machine and think about how nice it would be to have one of those bras that hold the things on, since i need a cup with a straw to even drink while i'm pumping!
all said, in this one week i have been more social with other adults than a good long time. without stress from school, too. It makes me a big difference.

DR and DM both are boogery but no fevers or anything. and now they are both awake, and i've got laundry galore to continue with and nothing worth typing in my brain anyway!

Inner Christmas

i found this in Ode Magazine: Merry Inner Christmas

(both of them are napping together!!! yippeeeee!)

capturing it in photos

Now that we can't set them down in a place and have them stay there, it's a whole new level of planning for a group picture. Here are two pictures of us attempting to get our kids to do what we want them to. Me, trying to get Rowan in the vicinity of the Big Guyat Rowan's preschool and below, Andy (Annabeths dad) attempting to gather attention and keep our play group altogether using some fancy guitar work and fun christmas songs. It was great music, but I can't say it really worked to get the kids rapt with attention and focused on being a group that we could take a picture of!!! If I can figure out the youtube video thing, I'll put a little video clip I took which is great.

When they were about 6-9 months old we did the first group shot, all the babies in diapers. They may not have been happy, but they stayed in one place! This time, not so much. The photographer had her work cut out for her, and I think she did an awesome job. We'll be able to see the prints soon.
Yesterday I got the best treat, a tea time at the Dushanbe Tea House in Boulder and got to spend time with my book club ladies. Since I've been more than my normal crazy self lately, it was a very good break. We talked the entire drive up there, the whole tea time and the whole snowy 2 hour ride home! That's 7 hours of talking!!!! Not every minute of it was about our children. Just most of the minutes. :) It was fancy and our waiter most attentive. By the time I got home, I was actually calm and peaceful. I also really needed to pump.

We are going to have a get together on New Years Eve day. We did it last year, sort of open house style. I think I'll put a little more thought into how it all goes together this year. Or maybe I won't. I'm trying to do as many things as I can before school starts up again, and specifically getting pictures of Milo together. He entered the world and was recorded digitally. We didn't get the camera until Rowan was 10 months old, and since then I've tried my best to print some. But these last 5 months have been quite a blur.

It's about time for me to do our Holiday/Solstice letter and I'm going to do it here. I wanted to get pictures out to everyone, but that isn't looking like it's going to happen. Maybe I'll do that tomorrow.

breast milk, soil

First off, I had a magnificent day after a much more restful night after I did the last post. I even threw both the boys in the glorious stroller and tromped around the lake, less than halfway around the wind died down and it was a good place to be.

Secondly, a tip for all of you out there who may someday find yourself pumping breastmilk. each part of your pump is something equivalent to gold jewelry but not found in all stores. In fact, you may find yourself on a QUEST for a very tiny but not inconsequential part that you did something boneheaded with like left on the counter and who but god knows where it is now?

Also I learned some very valuable tips about handpumps and pumping in general in my first quarter of school, like...
-toilets aren't that comfortable to eat on and pump.
-hand pumps are nice because when you are sitting on the toilet, there are usually no outlets close by.
-if you bring your pump attached to the bottle, an important part to remember is a TOP to CLOSE the milk in the bottle after you are done pumping.

-electric pumps are really nice, and you should get one that does both boobies at the same time if you have to leave milk with any kind of regularity.
-electric pumps are not really nice if you lose a tiny little piece of plastic that connects parts to the pump!!!
-most importantly, until the moment you have to bare your chest and extract milk from it for your precious baby, you don't really get what all the fuss is about pumping space. When that moment arrivese,THEN you understand it perfectly and can't really say anything coherent when some person says "why can't you just use the bathroom?"
-best to make sandwiches or something you can eat with your hands if you have to pump and eat on your break, because it takes one hand, and it's hard to both if you need a fork or something.

I think that breast milk is like soil. Why can you put stuff in the ground and watch it grow? it's just brownish black stuff! Why can you put only these little ounces of white stuff into your baby and watch him/her grow? MIRACLES, thats the only thing i can say about it. try and explain it all day long, and I'm telling you what--nothing can do it.

and finally why are naptimes always so short? i pumped two measly ounces and wrote this, and neglected dinner and the pile of dishes in the sink... and it's already over dammit.


ah well. being a domestic godess is one of those understated professions. I read in an old issue of The Sun that gives me great comfort, "Before enlightenment chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water." i think thats how it goes. Not to suggest that I am at all enlightened, not at all.

love them, hate them

Pacifiers that is. They really help sometimes, but then they become a habit. DR has a habit, and DM doesn't and both are a problem. I wish that when we gave DM his pacifier it would help him go to sleep, especially at 12, 1:30, 3, 4-5, and 7 in the morning... Why is he awake at these hours? this I know is the wrong question and there is no good answer, but I really can't help myself.

There is nothing I resent more than being awakened in the dead of the night. This may make me a bad mother in your eyes, but I can't help it. I bet even if I went to therapy I would still not really like my children when they wake up yelling their heads off at three in the blessed morning. It's a terrible chain reaction too, because I don't like them and G doesn't like me for not liking them. Even in that Once upon a time before I had a life filled with boys who sleep intermittently I resented being awoken, and that was before I was totally wiped from being with them all day long too!

There is nothing to say except that I'm complaining. I know, and I shouldn't. But you did come here of your own free will. I didn't make you come and read my lame-o complaining about the capacity of a two year old to repeat a single phrase more times than you are even capable of counting. "I want my paci" five hundred (or more) times is the other problem with pacifiers. It's all about sleep really, how can we get the most, and for DR that's with a Paci. Too bad he also wants it when he's awake. blech. The Paci Fairy is coming soon, and that will mean less sleep in addition to the minimal amount that we are already barely getting.

Crappy post I know, but I warned you. Maybe I should get outside, oh wait, they both have runny noses and I can't use my fabulous double stroller with the wind whipping around. Must be winter, since I have cabin fever.

Well, at least our furnace isn't under water like B&C in Seattle. I told you I was lame for complaining. Ugh.

On another cheery tangent, we're planning for untimely deaths right now. Hopefully you have already done this. Nothing like estate planning to make you think about the uncertainty of life.
I think that's enough gloom for today, and best if I stop before it gets any darker.